No Kidding Spanky
bad idea sir
a very bad idea
the genius aide said
to President Spanky Rump
don’t be so negative
it’s just an innocent photo op
with little kids
we find a smiling one
click
in and out Rump said
sir YOU are RESPONSIBLE
for those kids LOSING THEIR PARENTS
I didn’t tell ‘em to come here
their parents tie ‘em
on the backs of little burros
yuge caravans
of mules and donkeys
all kinds of criminal asses
with coyotes prowling around
it’s a dangerous thing
the parents don’t want ‘em
they don’t even wave goodbye
just point the mule our way
and slap it’s ass
they send ‘em
we save ‘em
no sir you SEPARATE them
from their PARENTS
not from little BURROS
now they CAN’T EVEN FIND THE PARENTS
well there’s always a few stragglers
that’s Obama’s fault
more than FIVE HUNDRED STRAGGLERS
with no parents to be found
sir YOU ARE responsible sir
so are the little kids pissed
we treat them very well I hear
they should thank Rump
sir the KIDS ARE IN CAGES
didn’t hurt my kids Rump said
they were like wild animals
I got solid gold cages
except for the female
she bounced on Daddy’s lap
OOOH THAT is DISGUSTING
WELL THE TWO BOYS WERE PUNKS Rump said
geez
you know sir
photos with kids in cages
right now before the election
it’s a seriously BAD look for you
what have we got to lose
the kids will be crying
and you’ll freak out
and do something stupid
it’s a BAD BAD BAD idea the aide said
I’ll throw some candy at ‘em
through the bars
it’ll be a free for all
they’ll love it
NO NO No no no no no
no sir we can’t do that
then let’s give ‘em RUMP gear
red hats and masks
and black ones too
they can divide up
and play Mexican gangster
get ‘em ready for the real world
sir they’re in the real world already
YOU’RE NOT
…just a minute sir
OH SIR
just got a call
from the child prison
they’re locking it down
big virus outbreak
we can’t go now
sorry sir the aide said
WHAT
no visitors sir
not even the president
what are they trying to do to Rump
the little shit heads ruined everything
they’re gonna make me look bad
DON’T TEST NO TESTING
but safety first sir
I’m safe
I’m IMMUNE
I’m SUPERMAN
where’s my costume
I wanted to wear it for the kids
yeah that’d be a real treat sir
except you don’t FIT into the costume
and we’re not going to see any kids
ah CRAP
just another reason to hate kids
you can’t trust ‘em
THE CAPE then
bring THE CAPE
and a gallon of milk
and a sasquach pack of double oreos
of course President Spanky
and then
after a little snacky
maybe you can relax
wrap yourself up
in your Superman cape blankie
and take a little nappy poo
hhhmmmmmmm
like a big boy
will you warm up my milk
why not
you’re the president
and tuck me in
ughhh
— Anomynous Lee