Have A Better Day
so did you get what you needed Norma asked
as Harlan walked into the kitchen
I walked out with this Harlan said
holding up a big bottle of glue
you think that’ll work Norma asked
NO I mean I walked OUT WITH THIS Harlan said
all the way OUT of the store
into the parking lot
to the car
okayyyyy Norma said
looking at him sideways
all the way to the car he said
past the cashiers
right out the door
without paying for the glue
say WHAT Harlan
Norma’s eyes widened
yeah I was in the middle of the parking lot
with a bottle of glue in my hand
in plain sight
that I didn’t pay for
I was freaking out
HARLAN you SHOPLIFTED GLUE
are you KIDDING me Norma said
no Harlan said
it wasn’t shoplifting exactly
I wasn’t trying to hide it
so you think it’s okay
as long as you’re not hiding it
that’s brazen and crazy old man
and criminal
what are you THINKING scolded Norma
wait Norma no
I didn’t mean to do it
I was up in my head
thinking about the project
and I just innocently
walked out the door with the glue
oh Harlan Norma said
isn’t that every shoplifter’s excuse
oh silly me I was up in my head
I know Harlan said but it’s true
I was about to get in the car
when I realized I didn’t have a receipt
because I didn’t pay
and nobody said anything Norma asked
or chased you down
no sirens or flashing lights
I looked around
I was all alone in the parking lot
with stolen merchandise
the store must have cameras Norma said
I suppose they do
but I did a quick one eighty
and walked back into the store
with the glue in my hand
in plain sight
past the cashiers again
and got in line to pay
really Norma said
and still nobody said anything
I can’t believe it either Harlan said
I felt like a criminal
you were a criminal Harlan
the cashier was a platinum haired kid
with pierced nose and lip Harlan said
and I Don’t Care tattooed
across his neck
so Norma said
so I set the glue on the counter
looked him in the eyes
and they were empty said Harlan
what did you say asked Norma
I said hey man
I just walked right out of this place
to my car with this glue
and the kid was in a daze
so I mouthed without paying
but he just kind of shrugged
rang up the glue
I handed him money
he gave me change and receipt
and with empty eyes locked on mine
he said in monotone
have a better day
have a better day Norma asked
that’s it
that’s it Harlan said
it creeped me out
have a better day
I don’t even know what that means
have a better day
it’s already evening
and I just stole glue
was it zombie comedy
it felt ominous
but I walked out a free man
oh my god Harlan
I know I know Harlan said
I can’t believe it either
I was up in my head
you and your head Harlan
Norma said shaking hers
but there was a moment
in the parking lot Harlan said
when I realized nobody was after me
and I thought
wow this is what it feels like
what what feels like Norma asked
what it feels like to get away with something
it was weird and cool at the same time
so you think not getting
tackled and shackled
in a parking lot
is somehow weird and cool
WOWA Harlan who are you
no it just felt edgy for a second
I was really terrified and embarrassed
even with the receipt in hand
but relieved that I got away with it
relieved that you got away with WHAT Norma asked
that I got away with paying
before anybody knew I didn’t pay
I was lucky Harlan said
it could have been awkward
I can see the headlines Norma said
CRAZY OLD MAN NABBED WITH STOLEN GLUE
WHILE SHUFFLING TO GETAWAY CAR
POSSIBLE GERIATRIC SNIFFING RING LINK
yeah that would not be cool Harlan said
and what do you tell the grand kids said Norma
kiddos don’t ever steal glue like crazy grandpa
yeah it’d be tough to explain
but it was an innocent mistake said Harlan
innocent but guilty said Norma
he was a good and honest grandpa
until that misty eve in September
then she pointed at him
and said BAD GRANDPA
is this how it’s going to be
have your fun Harlan said
I just hope it’s not a sign of things to come
you mean shoplifting Norma asked
most old geezers take up chess or tai chi
ha ha
no I mean getting old and forgetful he said
although most of what I forget
wouldn’t land me in jail
oh I think you’re mostly okay Harlan
it was a simple mistake
and you did the right thing
let it go
I feel stupid Harlan said
maybe you shouldn’t let me go out by myself
well sometimes you do do stupid stuff Norma said
but it’s over and you fixed it
so do you think that glue will work she asked
I hope so Harlan said
because I’m not taking it back
and now the project
has a story to go with it
gives it character Norma said
you can sign the piece
NOTORIOUS GLUE THIEF GRANDPA
I’ll never hear the end of it will I Harlan said
not until I forget about it Norma smiled
but for now
let’s have a better day
the day is over Harlan said
there’s still time smiled Norma
— Harlan
