Triumvirate Of Losers
not long after President Joseph R. Biden
was sworn into office
a blacked out limo
pulled up in front of the lottery office
and former president Spanky T Rump
and his clown posse
fell out of the car
and shuffled inside
Spanky walked up to the receptionist
and said with a wink and a nod
well you’re about as pretty as a succulent aren’t you
I’m here for the money
oh are we a winner the receptionist asked
ignoring the stupid succulent thing
glad he couldn’t reach her
don’t know about you honey
but I’m a big winner Rump said
I won by A LOT
well congratulations sir
so what game did you win
I win ‘em all lady
I always win
I’m a winner
I won
I’m here for my prize
okay sir
if I can see your ticket
we’ll verify the win
I won
I don’t need a ticket
I’m here first
just like the election
I was ahead by A LOT
at one point
so I won
well sir
that’s not the way it works
you need to prove you won
I did won
everybody knows it
fair and square
no one else can win
because I won
I don’t need proof
well sir I’m sorry
but we don’t just hand out money
to anybody
without a winning ticket she said
I’m not just anybody
I won
I’m the wonner
it’s all mine
you’re trying to cheat me
this is rigged
but I won
and you didn’t
Rudy Tootie chimed in
I think you mean winner Spanky
no I won Rudy
that makes me a wonner
if you run you’re a runner
if you spin you’re a spinner
if you win you’re a winner
I won so I’m a wonner
jeesh Rudy said
whatever boss
to be honest sir the receptionist said
you didn’t win the election
or the lottery
unless you can prove it
oh great
you’re working for Pelosi too
look lady
the half billion dollars is mine
I won
there’s nothing you can do
because I’m the wonner
I can’t stand to lose
so I win
which makes me the winner
so I want what’s mine
or I’ll sue you until the Arctic freezes again
explain it to her Tootie
that’s right honey Rudy smiled
we got lots a evidence
and we’ll sue you long time
unless you play ball
well he didn’t win the lottery
and he didn’t win the election
you don’t win anything
unless you can prove it she said
but it’s all mine Rump said
I won by A LOT
I WON I WON I WON
I want the prize
do you have the winning ticket sir
I don’t need a ticket
I’m the President
I’m afraid you do sir
and you are no longer the president
you’re just gross old Spanky Rump again
you can’t talk to the president like that Rump said
Rump talks to you like that
you don’t talk to Rump like that
okay that’s enough the lady said
playtime is over kids
you didn’t win
you have no proof
you’re not a winner
or a wonner
in fact you’re a loser
the bigliest loser
even if you did win
you’re a loser
but you didn’t
so you and crazy Rudy Tootie
and blowing in the wind Windsey
are welcome to LEAVE
before I call the cops and CNN
I own the cops
and CNN is fake news Rump said
one last time the lady said
do you have the winning ticket sir
I won
we’ll get you a ticket next time okay
no you didn’t win anything Spanky
you lost everything for everybody
how about you and your feeble posse of fools
crawl back into the hearse
and fade into the sunset
maybe hop a Space Farce flight
to Uranus perhaps
and play Lord of the Flies
see who wins
you can’t talk to him like that
he’s our president Rudy said
I just did she said
and he’s NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE THANK GOD
he’s not Rudy asked
you said you won Spanky
he says a lot of shit the the lady blurted
I did win Rudy Rump said
sue that rabid dog
for treason and insubordination
but Spanky
if you didn’t win
it makes us all look insane Rudy said
Rudy Rudy Rudy
you know I won
we won
you won
and they’re trying to steal it from us Rudy
I won for all the little people
the ignored
the racists and white nationalists like us
who live in the shadows
afraid of all the kind people
in Volvos and Subarus and Suburbans
who think trees breathe
art evokes feelings
races are about color
and children benefit
by learning a foreign language
it’s got to stop Rudy
we have to stand up
and say Rump won
Rump is the WONNER
Rump alone can WON
Rump knows more than hackers
and doctors and generals
and supreme court justices
and voters and lottery officials
because Rump is the bigliest at winning
tell em Windsey
well you’re a kook for sure mister president
but I’m with you because you said you won
and I was hoping you might toss
an old dog a bone
so sorry to break it to you boys
but he’s NOT PRESIDENT anymore
he’s a LOSER the receptionist said happily
well we’ll see about that Windsey said
if Spanky Rump says he won
that’s good enough for me
until a more prevailing wind comes along
then I’ll drift over that way
ya see lady
I surround myself with winners
everybody says it
people of character
because I’m a winner Rump said
so I want my winnings
well let’s get real here the lady said
your main man Rudy Toot Toot
is sweating black shit all over
and grunting at the office girls
while wiggling his hand around in his trowsers
and Windsey keeps licking his pointer
and holding it up
to see which way the wind blows
inside a frickin’ building
a posse of geniuses for sure
how’s that working out
I think we’re done now boys
I WON I WON I WON
YOU are trying to CHEAT ME
saying I need a TICKET
which VIOLATES my CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS
AND MY BIBLE RIGHTS and MY MAN RIGHTS
I WON fair and square
and NOBODY knows it better than YOU
this is a CON a HOAX a WITCH HUNT
to hurt Rump
you are DEFINITELY a hurt rump
and clearly you’re LOSING IT right now
because YOU’RE A LOSER the lady said
maybe you need to learn
how to LOSE better LOSER
so if none of you have a winning ticket
you’re all losers
ma’am Windsey said
Spanky Rump has sacrificed A LOT
for our great country
he lost friends
he lost money
he lost integrity
he lost sanity
although it is truly a question
how much of any of that
he had to start with
but the man blew up the presidency
and democracy
biglier than Hiroshima on the Fourth of July
and I believe that makes him a winner
mmm no the lady said
we could send national guard to her home
with ominous weapons Rudy said
or shoot her dog
now boys Windsey said
I think we just take a step back
and realize that this fine lady
is just doing her job
what say we regroup
make some more stuff up
come back in here
and take what’s rightfully ours
wait a minute Windsey Rump said
you said OURS
I’M the winner
you’re just a guy with the winner
of course you are Spanky
but I support you Windsey said
I just want to be on the winning team is all
I’m with Windsey on that Rudy said
we need to regroup
I know some lawyer criminals
they’re good guys
we bomb the world with trumped up lawsuits
and keep scamming millions from your minions
who actually believe you won the election
because you told ‘em so
we bleed the gullable then run
just like always
but I DID WIN Rudy
I’m a winner
I’m THE winner
the ONLY winner
don’t call me a loser
because I’m not a loser
I’m a king
and everything is mine
you’ll always be my king Spanky
how bout we slide back in the limo
and maybe stop by KFC for a bucket
on the way to MaryLago said Windsey
try a few more lottery offices too
a real road trip for real winners
KFC sounds good Rudy said
I like to rub my greazy fingers
all over my head
to keep it shiny
well I just had a two big mac snack
about an hour ago Rump said
but I could go for a big bucket of breasts
that’s funny Rudy said
see you’re a fun guy
that makes you a winner
that’s right Windsey said
you’re a real fun guy
with a bunch of money
fun guys aren’t losers
let’s go gentlemen
ahright Rump said
but I won
she knows I won
do you have the winning ticket
the receptionist had a huge grin
she’s just playing hard to get
we’ll be back Rump said
I won and I’m a wonner
and she knows it
probably better than anyone
you mean winner don’t you Spank Windsey said
no I’m pretty sure he meant WONNER the lady laughed
and thanks for stopping in fellas
it’s been a treat
most of the people we meet
actually ARE winners
so it’s refreshing to know
there are still losers out there
keeping things balanced
I’m balanced
and I’m a winner Rump said
and I WON I tell ya
I WON I WON I WON
you are a winner
until you are not Windsey said
or until you stop taking me golfing
but I’m tired of winning for now
so let’s go celebrate with chicken n mashies
okay but first I have to say this to the lady
I’m the PRESIDENT
and the WINNER
nope you’re the LOSER she said
WINNER Rump shouted
the BIGLIEST LOSER she laughed
WINNERRRRR he yelled
you LOST LOSER she cackled
I WON I WON I WON he screamed
LOSER LOSER LOSER she howled
poking a finger at each loser
you’ll be hearing from us Rudy Toot said
we have millions of after davids
incredible witnesses
proof positive
yeah I saw one of your uncredible witnesses
on your tv hearing sitcom fiasco
she was hilarious
good luck with that
last chance kiddos
anybody got the winning ticket or not
not at this moment
but but but Rudy stammered
BYE BYE LOSERS the lady sang
as she locked the door behind them
— Anomynous Lee
